I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
false alarm. still invincible.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
