she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
