I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
