oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
