I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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