So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
