the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
