Whod you bang
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
