Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
