Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
