And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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