We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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