i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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