well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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