the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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