This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
