Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
where am i from again
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
