Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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