seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
