That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
