Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
