When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
