it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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