id be glad to
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My breath smells like gin and sadness
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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