im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
