My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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