Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
