there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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