got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
