No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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