i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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