We need to rekindle our bromance
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
