Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize