this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Everything about him screamed your future.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
