you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize