3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
