You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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