you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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