and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
