why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
