She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize