i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
