I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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