she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
that is very illegal...i love you.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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