I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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