either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He has the fingertips of a God
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