Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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