I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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