I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
