Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
