the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
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