Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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