I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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