He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
