He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
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I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
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Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.