How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
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